Review: How to Win Friends and Influence People

How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

The book surprised me. It is sincere. That was almost unexpected, especially since most of these books are so focused towards the self and improvement. This one felt more genuine. There’s a part where Carnegie seems offended at the very idea that these tips are meant to gain things from people. No, this is about being an agreeable person, someone who makes people happy around them and is sincerely interested and excited by them. There is heart to this book.

It is far too long, however. There are a very limited number of tips and pages and pages of examples that are not particularly interesting or convincing. One is enough to get the gist of the principle. This book could have been a third of the length and felt like it had the same amount of content. It could have been a dozen pages long and covered everything important.

Also, it’s not enough. In terms of content, the tips themselves are decent but they try to be too universal. They are not. They are not universally applicable, they are not rules of thumb for all situations and they are definitely presented with far too much confidence despite these limitations. (To his credit, Carnegie does address the fact that not all techniques work all the time at points in the book, but it is not enough). Further, the tips are somewhat obvious at times, and too vague and general at others.

It’s also a little outdated. The language, the style, the tips, the examples, they feel a little outdated. Not difficult to read (very clear, in fact), but they feel like they would work better in a different era.

It’s got sincerity and heart, though. That has to count for something,

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